(listed in reverse chronological order)

• Anthony the Big G has plans for opening his own pizza parlor. It will be called Your C.I. Pie in the Sky. The plan is to lure people in with the smell of tasty pizza, then club them over the head and toss them in the Listening Chamber, where they'll be forced to listen to the latest C.I. hits until they like them. It seems a reasonable plan, since about three quarters of the actual C.I. members have extensive pizza experience.
  
• Jamming is growing like a fungus in the sweaty basement of the Evans Sugarhouse Pad. Multiple Collectively Intelligent stallions are writing and strumming and thinking and humming and eagerly plumbing.
  
• The second Venus Euphoric is finally out on DVD. Watch it again for the first time. (Now includes commentary from sound engineer Jack Bruce, a German language track, and a hilarious blooper reel.)
  
• Andreas is spear-heading a mission to bring accordion rock to the Fiji Islands. ...Wait a minute. Who is Andreas? What does she have to do with any of this. Oh, man, it's getting late...
  
• The Circle of Zerthimon, our trusty C.I. message board, is the latest to fall victim to the whores of internet spam. (No, really. Check out the message board link in the upper right corner.) But this time the joke's on them. I mean, no one ever goes to that message board. So no one will read their spam. Ha! Take that, filthy spammers!
  
• There's a Brodie Unplugged album?! Really??
  
• A C.I. reunion tour is in the works. Brodie will be getting insanely drunk and "touring" the upstairs of Burt's Tiki Lounge whilst Chaotic Neutral rocks it out on the stage below.
  
• Who is Mighty Swampface the Terrible? And why won't it leave Aaron's closet? For sixteen days now he's been having to toss carrots in there to keep the bleating down to a level that doesn't irk the neighbors.
  
• Word has it that a new Vaalo movie is being created in a chemistry lab in Tooele. If you're wondering to yourself where Tooele is, you know the reason it was selected. Martin Gore is directing and Carlos is providing the piano. The tentative title is "Hey, Vaalo: Shut Up and Get That Microwave Popcorn Going".
  
• Kirby lands on the moon, steps out, and plays the first rippin' guitar solo the moon has ever heard. Said he, "That's one small mother-flippin' badass guitar solo for me, and one giant mother-flippin' badass guitar solo for Mars. ...or whatever the hell planet this is," before belching and having to be dragged back to the spacecraft.
  
• Matt studies night and day to be able to perfect Blue Boot Studios. He's trying to figure out a way he can hook wires up to Kody's pancreas to power the air hockey table and the all-Scorpions-all-the-time jukebox, both of which are considered essential parts of a truly great studio.
  
• Subtle Assault becomes more subtle and even more assaulting than ever. In fact, no one even knows who they are. Just that the time for being subtly assaulted shall surely come.
  
• Petitions are sent to the powers that be to see about inducting Carl, Dean, and clay-tone-galaxy into the Collective Intelligence. The petitions are brought before the senate and debated over much before being eventually thrown out on the grounds that Carl, Dean, and clay-tone-galaxy are actually all one and the same. Don't try to understand it.
  
• Brad blackmails C.I. superfan R.P. into giving him the first two seasons of ATHF on DVD. R.P. vows revenge, but Brad threatens to post the secrets of R.P.'s bedroom on the C.I. rumors page, which boasts over a hit a week.
  
• Current, former, and future C.I. members gather at the Evans Tri-Pad for a bbq in celebration of Matt's 18th birthday. (That's right, girls: 18.) Hugs are exchanged, meat is charred and feasted upon, Brodie tunes are played in the basement while Charles stands on the deck with a beer muttering, "hey, I think I wrote this song..."
  
• The first B.D.S. album shall feature no fewer than eleven seperate musicians playing no fewer than one hundred, twenty-three intricate parts.
  
• Rich, skilled doctors and surgeons have taken the sons of samus back on to their opperating table to inject new life. Those who play the futures markets don't see ve lasting too long into 2008, and the doctors have taken it upon themselves to raise up an heir to the throne. Heshing metal meets bluesy bass and drums meets eerie guitary strangeness.
  
• What of Sandbaby? Well, he's gone corporate, and Sandbaby Co. is one of the world's leaders in the production of yellow-bellied sapsucker jellies and jams. Mmm mmm, tasty.
  
• A standardized library of CI albums will be released, and sit on your shelf not completely unlike a set of encyclopedias.
• Ve summer tour/second album plans well underway. Rumor has it they payed Degu big bucks to be able to ride their shirt tails into fame and fortune.
  
• Who are Subtle Assault and Swampface? Yes, who indeed...
  
• Ve and Ultima plan a tour, heading east to play shows in Colorado, then farther east to play shows in Indiana.
  
• Production at Blue Boot Studios comes crashing to a halt, as the computers there spontaneously combust. Many bands lose much data, and some even threaten legal action.
  
• Ve adds two songs to its plans for a second album. They can be found playing them as the prance around the Salt Lake area.
  
• A fourth chapter in the Surrounded By Commas chronicles is in the works, and rumor has it that it will actually take you back in time as you listen. Not to be outdone, Vaalo's album Diakon v.2.0 takes you forward in time. But upon arriving in the future, the listener actually experiences an album from the past, as the songs on the album are the ultra-remixed and re-recorded version of the first Vaalo CD, Songs from Diakon. So the two effects end up canceling each other out, leaving the listener in the present.
  
• The CI again tries to lay claim to Alana's beautiful project, DeGu. Their argument is that since they put a picture of her on their page and said she was an honorary member, they should totally be entitled to some royalties. DeGu responded with a restraining order. Kody is no longer allowed near their cats.
  
• Ve unveils their plan to take over the universe. It is a detailed thing involving gamma rays, ultraviolet rays, and a pay raise.
  
• The untitled Kirbyproject gets passed on by HBO for their new, edgy reality show about praying mantises. Apparently they found out that the lyrics to Kirby's song were actually about eating a human mate, so they decided it didn't fit the image they were looking for for the show.
  
• It gets crowded in the CI safehouse. Things are stuffy and hot in there.
  
• Ultima wins second prize in a beauty contest. They spend the prize money on necessary beauty supplies, such as lotion, shampoo, and penut butter.
  
• Production on the BDS trilogy comes to a hault when Brad's low e-string breaks. However, since each of the strings on brad's guitar represent one of the six dimensions, the e-string actually broke retroactively, affecting therefore the history of brad's songwriting, rather than the future. Plans have been discussed to go into the past and get him a new one, but since the future and the past both don't seem to involve much more actual song recording than does the present, those plans have been scrapped.
  
• Aaron discovers his mutant power to hit circular things hard with sticks. Luckily, since he is the drummer, this is a helpful skill. Kirby's mutant power is very similar, but it really doesn't help him much, since he doesn't do much hitting of circular things with sticks as the guitar player. He may take up playing a backup snare, just to not let his power go to waste.
  
• Members of the CI shall line the road and sallute as Charles returns from his extended stay on Antartica. (Last we'd heard it was Australlia or some damn place, but the kid gets around.) Axes shall be sharpened, and songs shall be played. Rumor has it Charles has actually discovered the legendary H-major chord, and many Gnome Ore Music songs shall be written in the key of H.
  
• Brad enters a rehab program to try to get a handle on his dangerous, deviant behaviour.
  
• Ultima has a few shows coming up on the horizon: one at a crazy house party where they will be paid in beer, another at the luxurious Snowbird Cliff Lodge, and a third on the island of Genosha. Of course, to play this last show, they will have to travel back in time to before the sentinals blew the whole thing up. Remember, kids -- you heard it here first.
  
• A number of unhappy slaves are abducted from the latest raid on Antiga Prime and put to work in the safe house. The safe house is more of an ideal really than a place, but that hasn't stopped the slaves from cranking out more than twenty compilation discs, which will be sent out to listeners around the US and UK. This first wave of discs contains four songs each from Venus Euphoric, Brodie, Sandbaby, and Surrounded By Commas, plus the happy hit single from Ultima. Inserted with many of the discs are hand-drawn collectible trading cards. Collect them all!
  
• Four brand new Surrounded By Commas songs are being finished up in Matt's subconscious. He promises that they're four of his best songs ever. So all you kids out there with the official Collective Intelligence Brainwave Radio Tuner, tune in and give them a listen!
  
• HUM is playing in Illinois the fifteenth of October! Since they're such close, personal friends, Bryan St. Pere is paying for Kirby's ticket out there, and will then treat him to all the cherry pie he can eat. Thanks, Bryan!
  
• Matt sends the okay from the motherland to sell tasty Surrounded By Commas discs. His desire, however, was that we go to his secret vault in the Big Tree to unearth his original, ultra-mastered master tapes. Unfortunately, the Big Tree gang outnumbered and destroyed us all, sparing not even our women and our children.
  
• Double A, Kirbzilla, and the Llamatron are going to work on an industrial project of sorts, with crazy samples and tribal yelling. When they play live, A-Head shall drum backwards, exhibitting his cybernetic "owl" shoulder implants.
  
• A really annoying song keeps playing forever in Brad's place of employment. ...oh wait. It stopped.
  
• Extra-terrestrials from the Orange Planet deliver an amp to Kirby that possesses super powers. Instead of sound waves, it actually emits ocean waves, which wash over people and drown them in large guitar sound.
  
• August the thirteenth is the first annual Collective Intelligence Festival, at Blue Boot Studios. Tickets are sold out, but the eight founding fathers are accepting bribes and gifts in exchange for admitance. There are rumored to be preformances by Ultima, Sons of Samus, Brodie, Gnome Ore Music, Blue Desert Savant, Sandbaby, and Phantom Planet, who begged to be included.
  
• Tony La-G, the big man with the big plan, is brewing creative beverages on his own home computer. To his brew, he adds equal parts acoustic guitar, harpsicord, flute, salt, turntable, eukalalie, and paprika for that extra kick. Many things are cooking, but what has been sampled carefully from the spoon is tasty indeed.
  
• Charles is sucked into a small wormhole and transported to a small village off the coast of Australlia. This is good and bad news: good because it means he'll finally have some time in which to do something besides work, and bad because no one knows exactly where he is.
  
• Mandy's new band achieves something never before achieved by a Collective Intelligence band: actually playing shows on the big city scene. She and her trio seem to be doing just fine without the help of the CI's vast bank of knowledge and experience, and to any concerned observers it appears that the CI just claims her because of her feminine good looks and charm. That's not exactly something they have in spades.
  
• The two city boys of the CI, brad and anthony, are going to scratch each other's itch for playing some live music. Both versatile guitar/bass players, they hope to play coffee shops and karaokee bars all through the city, impressing patrons with their strange mix of rap and polka.
  
• Recording on the Ultima album comes to a nervous halt when the four members suddenly find themselves speaking four different languages in an unexpected event reminiscent of the Biblical tower of Babel. Rumor has it that, while the boys have forgotten their native English, Kirby is now fluent in Russian, Kody rambles like a drunken Chinaman, and Anthony talks of kilts and womenfolk in Scottish. In a strange turn of events, it seems that Aaron can no longer talk at all in any language, or make any vocal noises at all. Luckily he's just the drummer.
  
• Blue Boot Studios is slowly climbing to the top of many Salt Lake musicians' lists of places to record their albums. Charles and Brad are trying to get Mandy's new female band to come record an album at the end of July. It is rumored that Charles and Brad are so unsuccessful with the ladies, they are actually trying to pay Mandy to let them record her band, just so she'll come over with multiple female companions. Brad and Charles will wear their Sunday best, and treat the band to fine wine.
  
• Blue Desert Savant may be playing some sort of unexplainable amalgam of music, standup comedy, and yoga at a place in Salt Lake City called Moes. On open mic night you only get fifteen minutes, so he may only have time for the music part.
  
• Female members are added to the Collective Intelligence, giving us a much needed portion of estrogenic energy. We feel safer having such lovely womenfolk in our corner, and feel our success is much more assured thanks to them. Visit them, and send them love. (mandy, alana)
  
• Ultima continues to be busy in the studio, working on their forthcoming album. The Sons of Samus are planning a camping trip/jamming session to try to keep up with Ultima.
  
• Anthony goes in for surgery on his ear to enhance it with cybernetic technology. No one who plays with him will ever need to use a tuner, because he will simply nod his head when they're in tune. He will be able to identify any note, tune, pitch, harmony, etc. known to man. Not to be outdone, Kirby will be going in to get a pair of bionic legs which will allow him to leap tall buildings in a single bound and stand playing his guitar for days on end. ...the rest of his body will fall asleep after a couple of hours, but those legs will keep him up.
  
• Gnome Ore Music is to be playing an intimate little show or two, hopefully to people who are all mildly drunk and highly supportive.
  
• As the first Andreas single is released, their fame reaches far and wide, and it is rumored that they are tickling the ears of folk as far away as South Africa.
  
• Multiple guest vocalists are being recruited for the upcoming Andreas album. Among the featured singers are Anthony LaGuardia, Kirby Yardley, Michael Stipe, Aaron Evans, and the Brothers Humes.
  
• Music production within the collective intelligence staggers to a standstill when the majority of the members are struck with a strange, debilitating disease called workyourassoffitis. It is rumored that Charles has a terminal case, while Kody has only been minorly affected.
  
• In a freak accident involving a salad fork, a nine-volt battery, and the A string of his guitar, Kody seems to have split his purple thing right down the centre. The good news is, like a lizard's tail, each of the halves have healed, leaving Kody the most well-endowed man in the state: the envy of men everywhere and the lovetoy of multiple rich, attractive women. The bad news is, the accident left him without an A string.
  
• Matt is recruiting an army of kilted scottsman, with whom he shall march across Europe, starting with Spain and ending with Argentina (go figure).
  
• Brad is rumored to be teaming up with Liz from The Fearsome Sparrow (Jenny Lewis was unavailable) for a second Blue Desert Savant album. The first BDS album is being recorded, mixed, and mastered telepathically, and will be released from Brad's brain as gamma rays, rather than on classic vinyl.
  
• Última is working hard as a band should, striving like any band who has to record themselves without the luxury of a professional recording studio to put out some demos. The upcoming album is rumored to be titled "Death By Sex".